Dating apps are how most people get a love life these days, or so it seems. Is it just me or is it harder for lady-lovers? We all want the other woman to send the first message and to ask us on a date. The problem is we’re all thinking the same thing and we lack the confidence of a mediocre straight white male.
But another part of the problem is shitty profiles, boring first messages and terrible bylines. There’s just certain things you shouldn’t do and thing you should avoid at all costs to make your online dating profile seem somewhat enticing to other females.
- A picture of your actual face.
What a shockingly vast amount of women don’t realise is they’ll have much more luck with a picture of their face than a close-up of their cleavage. While most LGBT women appreciate a fine pair, it’s not what we’re looking for right off the bat.
Neither is a picture of a quote, your car and especially not your dog because honestly all we’ll want to do is meet your adorable fur baby and not you.
2. A tagline that isn’t cringe.
‘Let me entertain you.’
‘I don’t bite unless you want me to.’
‘This is so embarrassing’.
‘I don’t even know why I’m on this.’
So.Much.Cringe. Or else instant shame. Cool, i want to talk to that woman that’s already ashamed to talk to me on this thing. We get it, you’re too hip fro online dating but you’re obviously having no luck in real life so get over it.
3. ‘Hey, how are you? :)’
Couldn’t think of a better opening line, huh? Women get this same message all the time on dating apps, the least you can do is make it original by mentioning something you have in common from checking out her interests.
4. Multiple messages never ever work. I repeat!
So you messaged her and she didn’t reply but she ‘seen’ or ‘read’ it? The more times you message before she does, the less likely it is that she’ll ever reply to you.
5. Too eager too soon kills the mood.
‘Hi, how are you? 🙂
Anyway, let’s meet up right now.’
*ALARM BELLS* This method rarely works.
6. If you don’t ask questions you don’t get answers.
It’s really nice to ask at least one question in your replies to show your actually interested in the other person. Too many times I’ve been the one asking and getting no questions back so I stop replying.
7. A decent ‘About Me’ section and a list of interests.
There are too many profiles out there with these not filled in. They’re there so we can see we have things in common, ask you about them and get a feel for the type of individual you are before we even chat to you. If you have zero interests listed and your ‘About Me’ is ‘I don’t know just ask me’ or ‘I’ll fill this in later’ or even ‘…’ then no wonder no one is interested. If you’re not arsed then don’t expect someone else to be.
8. I definitely don’t want to know about your recent break up.
‘Um yeah, well I’m recently single and said i’d give this a try. We broke up two weeks ago and it’s been pretty tough…’
Wow. If there’s one thing women love it’s being your rebound or therapist.
9. ‘Looking for a woman’ *scrolls down profile* ‘I love beards, men with strong arms to open my jars and a big ol’ willy’.
I don’t even know how straight women make this mistake. All those female ‘likes’ must be coincidence right? Nope.
10. Just be sound.
We’re all looking for a down to earth human being with a sense of humour, some curiosity about us and these basic, online dating skills that somehow seem tricky to master.